One day, when I came home at lunchtime,
I heard a funny noise,
Went out to the back yard to find out,
If it was one of those rowdy boys,
Stood there, was my neighbour, called Peter,
And he had a high fever,
He told me he built a time machine,
Where he would self-quarantine,
Yeah, yeah
He said, “I’ve been to the year 3000,
Everything has changed and I’m going to show you how things will turn out if you don’t make some basic lifestyle changes,
And your great, great, great granddaughter,
Well, we have bigger concerns.
Really big concerns.”
He took me to the future in the flux thing,
And I saw everything,
Wastelands, and another one, and another one,
And another one,
Very few people, real quiet,
Nobody naked.
We drove around in a time machine,
Like one in a film I’ve seen,
Yeah, yeah.
He said, “I’ve been to the year 3000,
Honestly you need to listen to me carefully, things are about to get really fucked up really quickly,
Dettol will be currency,
What do you mean I need to make this rhyme? No.
And please stop asking about your granddaughter,
I don’t want to talk about her.”
I took a trip to the year 3000,
This song had gone multi-platinum,
Everybody bought our seventh album,
Nobody mentioned Michael Jackson,
I took a trip to the year 3000,
This song had gone multi-platinum,
Everybody bought our seventh album,
(Seventh album, seventh album)
He told me he built a time machine
Like one in a film I’ve seen,
Yeah, yeah
He said “For the love of god, PAY ATTENTION,
We live by different rules now, everything changed in the early 21st century,
We thought the structures we had were stable and eternal, but oh boy…
If you’re writing this down, note that I’m shaking my head now,
And why? Because none of you stayed inside when you were asked to! Why the hell do you think I brought you here?
Seriously? What did I say about your granddaughter? Never ask about her!
I loved that woman, but… she died a few years ago,
I bet you thought I’d say something whimsical about her, didn’t you?
Well, no. She died in the great hand sanitiser war,
If you’re still writing this down, put down that I just took a large swig of alcohol,
That multi-platinum song you think is so important?
Fuck it, none of it matters,
Write down that I just took another swig of alcohol,
We’re all just meandering along, and then something happens that throws our entire life off course,
I wish I’d died with her,
I’ll tell you one thing though,
She was pretty fine.
Pretty fine.”
andy-ward.com 