INT. A WAREHOUSE – NIGHT.
THERE IS THE SOUND OF GUNFIRE. WE SEE JACK BAUER HIDING BEHIND A BOX, BEING SHOT AT.
JACK: JESUS! WHERE’S MY BACKUP!
SFX: PHONE RINGING. JACK ANSWERS IT.
JACK: Where the hell are you! I’m pinned down!
KEVIN: Oh hey Jack, it’s Kevin.
KEVIN: Kevin from CTU. You know, I always have a latte in the mornings! That guy!
JACK: I literally do not care right now Kevin!
KEVIN: Oh, sorry, is now a bad time?
JACK: OF COURSE IT’S A BAD TIME!
KEVIN: Ok, cool, I won’t keep you long. It’s just about this challenge, you know?
JACK: What challenge?
KEVIN: Well, you got nominated to do the ice bucket challenge yesterday, and you’ve kind of got to do it within twenty-four hours, so… what’s happening?
JACK: ARE YOU INSANE KEVIN?! I’M TRYING TO STOP A NUCLEAR BOMB!
KEVIN: And I totally get that, I really do, but you know, people have started posting on your timeline. It’s all like ‘tick-tock Jack’ and saying you hate charity, that kind of thing.
JACK: I’M SAVING THE BLOODY WORLD! WHAT MORE CHARITY DO YOU WANT?!
KEVIN: Anyway, look, I just wanted to give you a heads up to let you know that you’ve got about two more hours to do it.
JACK: Like I said Kevin, I’m busy right now! Now where the hell is my backup!?
KEVIN: Oh, they’re just drying off at the moment, but they’ll be there in a bit. We’ve all been doing the challenge here you see. It’s such good publicity for us, that’s why we really need you to get involved.
JACK: THERE’S A NUCLEAR BOMB YOU IMBECILE! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!
KEVIN: Do you not have a bucket? Is that it? We can provide a bucket if you want.
JACK: I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS! If I do the challenge will you get my backup here now?
KEVIN: Oh, sure, sure! I’ll get them there in no time!
JACK: DO IT! JUST DO IT!
JACK IS STOOD IN A WAREHOUSE SURROUNDED BY BUCKETS.
JACK: Hello, thankyou to President Palmer for my nomination. This is my ice bucket challenge.
JACK PICKS UP THE BUCKET.
KEVIN: Wait, wait, wait, wait!
JACK: What the hell now?!
KEVIN: You have to nominate three more people to do it too!
JACK: THIS IS NOT OUR PRIORITY RIGHT NOW KEVIN!
KEVIN: Jack, please.
JACK: Oh, fine! In turn I’d like to nominate err… ooh, I don’t know… maybe like… I don’t know…
KEVIN: Could you hurry it up Jack, there’s a nuclear bomb to stop you know.
JACK: I will kill you, Kevin! Anyway, I’d like to nominate my daughter Kim, Jimmy Fallon, and the actor Donald Sutherland.
JACK PICKS UP THE WATER BUCKET AND THROWS IT ON HIMSELF.
SFX: SOUND OF DISTANT EXPLOSION.
JACK TURNS TO SEE A MUSHROOM CLOUD IN THE DISTANCE. THERE IS A LONG, AWKWARD SILENCE.
KEVIN: I kind of feel like this is my fault.
JACK GLARES AT KEVIN.
KEVIN: Oh, did you send the text?
MORE AWKWARD SILENCE.
KEVIN: It’s ‘Iced55 £5’ to 70070, so if you could jus-
JACK: Leave now.
KEVIN: Ok, cool.