Tag Archives: interview

Starburst and Shanghai.

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Things I have done since my last blog:

- Given up on attempting to write 30 stories in 30 days. It was not as fun as I imagined it might be, and it was leaving me little time to do anything else really. I may just write and release stories when I find the time, rather than setting myself some kind of absurd, almost masochistic challenge that was always going to be kind of tricky.

- Eaten a garibaldi biscuit. That was yesterday. It wasn’t brilliant.

- Had a job interview. I am now fairly certain that I have now been invited back for a second interview, though to be fair, prior to the interview I ate an entire pack of Starburst, then strolled in, talked about how much I’d enjoyed the Olympics this summer (they took place two years ago), and used a moment of silence to excitedly blurt out ‘The Apprentice is on tonight!’. Professional as ever. I would still like to find a home at a company, though at this rate I’m starting to think that perhaps it would be easier to just start my own business. I’m not 100% sure what the process to do this is, but I’m fairly sure it involves stealing a priceless jewel from a heavily guarded museum. Of course, if I could do that, I probably wouldn’t need to flog socks from a shopping trolley in the rain. Maybe I’ll just stick with the jewel idea.

- Thought about going to Tokyo. Or Shanghai. I’m not sure which one I’d rather go to. Not just for a few days. For a few weeks, maybe even a few months. Possibly to try and learn a bit of the language. Apparently they’re pretty much the two hardest languages to learn though, Japanese and Mandarin, requiring around 2200 hours of class tuition to master. This seems kind of intimidating, but nothing is impossible. Apart from me having money it would seem, which makes this purely fantasy, as travelling to learn these languages on an intensive course in either Shanghai or Tokyo requires thousands of pounds. Which I do not have. Until I steal the jewel/sell lots of socks in the rain. They both look like interesting cities though, so I’ll hopefully go in some capacity at some point. Probably just on a holiday for a few days one day. Anyway, this is something I have been considering. I have also, on a slightly lesser note…

- Thought about buying some crumpets. I stared at some crumpets for a bit today. I thought about buying them. They were 89p. I had 67p. I cursed my having not brought my debit card, and swore that one day, I would enjoy some crumpets, sat at an oak table in a meadow, as bees swarmed about me complimenting my frugal butter usage and choice of scarf. That could be how it pans out. Alternatively, I could end up just abandoned in a meadow in the middle of nowhere, fighting off angry bees as I tried in vain to tuck into some overly dry crumpets. That sounds more realistic.

- Considered buying more Studio Ghibli films. ‘My Neighbour Totoro’ apparently has a cat that doubles as a bus. He is called Catbus. How could anybody fail to be entertained by that?

- I watched the X Factor. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and see whether it was actually any good. It was not. Indeed, I was surprised by just how poor it was. I didn’t really enjoy it, and for some reason, it seemed like each contestant had been told to dress as a different member of the Jetsons. Maybe it gets better, I don’t know. I’ll probably just stick to watching The Apprentice.

That’s probably about it actually. I should probably do more stuff. Looking at crumpets doesn’t really count as an activity in most people’s book. Today I may do some writing, then tomorrow I have a gig. That’s something I guess.

2010 – A Good Year?

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This is my first post of 2010. Let me just say, there’s no evidence as yet that this will be a good year, but I’d rather hope it was. I am going to start optimistic and let the optimism gradually leak out of me like a morbid teapot. Anyway, what have I been doing so far this year I hear none of you cry? Well, let me tell you!

Nothing.

Actually, that’s not true, I’ve been doing a few things. Today I even had an interview. I thought it went ok, by which I mean I didn’t say anything particularly stupid. Oh, the times we were having, we all laughed, I sipped my water casually, as if to say “Hey! I’m sipping my water! Casually! I’m one of you guys! Eh? Eh?” Let me tell you, if we’d each had long enough arms, I’m sure we’d have all been sat round slapping each other on the back in a jovial manner. Alas, the distance between us was somewhat too large, and it would have been too disturbing to actually get up, walk across, slap them on the back, then slowly limber back to my seat in silence. Perhaps if I’d had Go Go Gadget arms then it would have been a possibility, but the fact is, I don’t, so it would have been even worse if I’d tried to engage them.

“And then I said, hey, that’s not a biscuit, that’s my cat!”

“Hahahaha! Good one! GO GO GADGET ARMS!”

[Silence]

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. ABORT! ABORT GADGET ARMS!”

“Ok, well… ooh, is that the time? Well, you know, we’ll… be in touch…”

“Thanks! GO GO GADGET HELICOPTER! BYEEEEEE!” [Crash through door]

It was something to do anyway. No doubt they’ll be in touch within a few days with the traditional ‘Well, thanks for coming in, unfortunately, there were a lot of strong candidates…’ etc, but hopefully not. Seeing as this is the year of optimism and everything, I’m going to predict that in a couple of days they’ll be in touch with a six-figure salary and a shiny jacket that says ‘KING OF THE BUILDING: ASK ME ABOUT MY GADGET ARMS’. This will happen.

I’ve also started another stand-up course. This is an advanced course, following on from the beginner’s one I did a few months ago that I’ve discussed on here. It’s great. Basically, every week I just get to get on stage, practice material and get feedback on it before I take it out to gigs. It’s a lot of fun, and everybody is very friendly. I haven’t actually done a stand-up gig since November now, as I’ve run out of bookings, but I’m hoping to get back into doing it soon. I should email more people. Maybe that’s what I’ll do.

I also hope to finish another script this month, which would be a hell of an effort, since it’s only 1/3 done, and there’s only 11 days left. Let’s make that a draft perhaps. A draft of the script would be nice. Oh, and also I’m hoping to revive Llamageddon for a better run over the next few weeks. More regular podcasts rather than just one every 4 months or so. That would be good. Maybe release some other stuff too. That would be super good. A good megazord. Anyway, I’m quite tired and I’ve got to go to work soon, so I’m going to end here. Bye!