Because apparently I am 9 years old. In my defence, they were pretty manly chicken nuggets, they weren’t children’s chicken nuggets, they came with a barbecue dip that was billed as spicy, but wasn’t. If I’m not mistaken, they were part of the Sainsbury’s ‘Manly Men’ range, which is located in the ‘butch adult foods’ aisle. Yes.

Yesterday I wrote a short film in a day. Well, I wrote a short short film. It’s 2000 words long, as it’s not quite finished, there’s one final part to add, but it’s pretty much there. It’s for a competition which is looking for films between 6-10 minutes long, and I have to conclude mine now as it’s reached the 10 minute mark I believe. I’d like to extend it outside of the competition though, as it’s potentially something that could be quite good (isn’t everything?), so I might look to write it to around the 20-30 minute mark perhaps. I’ll see how long it goes on for.

I think I might go to America. Just for a short time, to explore. Maybe get on a Greyhound Bus and stare out the window whilst listening to Bruce Springsteen. Of course, such excursions require money, and there lies the problem, I do not have enough money to travel about America as if I’m some kind of Texan oil magnate. I probably have just about enough money to be able to get to America, but then no money to get home, or even leave the airport. It could easily end up being like that Tom Hanks film where he just stays in the airport for years. The Terminal or something I believe it’s called. I mean, probably not exactly like that. I haven’t seen the film, but I doubt it consists of Tom Hanks arriving in a Mickey Mouse baseball cap, turning his pockets inside out and then spending the rest of the film trawling the bins for leftover bagels.

In many ways, I think that turning up with no money could actually be the best adventure possible. The American government probably wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about my plan, but again, that could only add to the adventure. If I spend two weeks being pursued about an airport by Tommy Lee Jones whilst eating bagels, then I’ll consider that a good holiday.

I need ways to make money. A proper job would be the obvious choice, but as I’ve learned over the past year and a half, that’s easier said than done. Instead I shall continue to dig for dubloons in the back garden. I fail to see how that could possibly not work, there’s got to be thousands of pirates who were based in Kent and buried their treasure just outside Tunbridge Wells. I guess we will find out.

Anyway, I have a cold, so I might eat a yoghurt. You know what they say about colds and yoghurt. As the old saying goes ‘if you have a yoghurt, it might help your cold, but then again, it might not’. Wiser times.