I bought a video camera the other day. It’s cool. It’s a Canon FS100 for anybody who’s interested (and let’s face it, that’s only me, meaning we’ve got another brilliant schizophrenic post where I discuss stuff with myself, when I could just as easily have the conversation in my head and save some time). Anyway, I bought the camera the other day, whilst also purchasing some editing software (in case you’re still reading self, I bought Sony Vegas Move Studio 9, the Platinum Pro Pack edition, because, let’s face it, I’m a pro who likes platinum stuff. Like a really high ranking magpie I am.), and a memory card which’ll record all the footage. The editing software arrived this morning, however the memory card did not, meaning I’m completely unable to do any recording with the camera until it arrives. When it does arrive though it’ll be a video monsoon. The Llamageddon youtube channel is set up ( http://www.youtube.com/llamageddontv ), which is where we’ll be putting all our stuff. Having said that, I probably haven’t actually mentioned the whole Llamageddon TV idea to a lot of people, so if anybody is reading this who hasn’t heard about it, we’re going to be making videos for youtube hopefully. We’d very much like to avoid the awful videos of ‘LOOK, I AM IN MY GARDEN, HERE IS MY BIRDBATH. SAY HELLO BIRDBATH! HOHOHOHOHO!’ thing, as there’s a lot of dreadful stuff on youtube, there really is.  We’ll hopefully make something borderline watchable though. It’ll be like the radio show, but on video. It’ll be top.

In the meantime, I’m trying to write some jingles that we’re going to have people record for the podcast. We actually have to pay actors to record them I think and make them sound a bit professional. With that in mind, I’m going to try and make them earn their money. I’m not paying them loads to just read five or so words, if they don’t meet my demands, they won’t be receiving their money. With that in mind, the current notes I have down regarding the performance style of jingles includes ‘I’d like it to sound like an old man who’s just discovered Orangina for the first time’. If they can get into the mindset of that man, and I agree that the jingle sounds like it was recorded by an old man who’s just discovered Orangina for the first time, they can get their money. If I’m not convinced, then they won’t get paid. If I even sense a slight air of ‘this man’s lived next to the Orangina factory for 30 years’, then they’re out. That’s it.

Anyway, other things to do. I should apply for jobs, but the application forms are too dull. It’s the usual ‘think of a time you worked in a team, what did you contribute etc’ rubbish. Typically, the best way that I can contribute to most teams is to stay away and let them do it themselves. They never accept my ideas anyway, leaving me to revert to my lone wolf status, as I sit in the corner tearing into a severed arm I’ve found. Whether it’s the fact that I’m almost incapable of working with other people at tasks which require me to be serious, or the fact that by the time it comes to the one-to-one interview stage I’m coated in blood and shards of flesh, something is stopping me from getting a serious job. I can’t imagine this blog will help matters if employers do actually check online profiles etc to investigate candidates. Hello to you all if you’ve found this. I’d like an actual letter of rejection if you’re going to reject me. I’d like to paper my room with them and sit in my room of depression. It’ll be like that Jodie Foster film. You know the one, where she’s sat in that room and that man gets hit with that sledgehammer. Yeah, Panic Room. It’ll be Panic Room, but more depressing. And I don’t have asthma. Perhaps I should put that on my CV actually ‘Don’t have asthma’. In fact, I’m going to start listing all the medical conditions I don’t have on my CV, because if I’m being honest, it probably needs more achievements on it, and I think that ‘never contracted ebola’ is probably as good as it’s going to get. It’ll at least be second next to ‘read a whole Hardy Boys book in a day once’. That’s what employers want you see. Take it from me, the unemployed one, employers love it if you can read through a Hardy Boys book really quickly. Get practicing.

Anyway, I should go and do something constructive, or at least think of something constructive I can do, potentially at a later date. Bye!