A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEEEEWWWWWWW. OH WHEN SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING, SOMETHING SOMETHING ELSE, IT’S LIKE I SEE A WHOLE NEW BLOG WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

I thought I should actually bother to post something here, as it’s been a while since I did (back in December was the last one), and I thought this might aid my frequent writers block a bit, so I’ll try to make a point to blog more often this year. Anyway, what have I been doing today? Today I’ve been working on a job application, in which I’m currently trying to think of a brand that I think needs a makeover, and what I’d do to make this happen. I was thinking of Woolworths, but I don’t think they’d see the funny side. I wrote to one company recently telling them that when I was 12 I bought my own chocolate factory, but went bust within a day, as I had no money to fund it. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. They were very polite about it though, they could easily have just turned around and gone ‘OWNED A CHOCOLATE FACTORY DID YOU?! WELL CHOCOLATISE THIS!’ and sent me my CV back in Toblerone form. That would have been strange, but I’d have enjoyed it at the same time. I haven’t actually had a Toblerone for ages, and they’re pretty good, so I almost feel sad in a way. I think the enjoy a Toblerone would be a reasonable New Year’s Resolution that I could achieve. I may need reminding at some point though, I don’t want it to reach 11:55 on New Year’s Eve 2009 and I’m frantically running around the streets, darting in front of cars, mouth foaming screaming “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ALL THE TOBLERONES!?” at strangers. If anybody reads this, remind me before then that I need to eat a Toblerone.

As well as all this, I’ve been trying to prepare for my stand-up gig tomorrow. It’s in London, and it’s the first round of a competition. A good, pretty high-profile competition too. It’s one I’d very much love to win. Unfortunately, I’ll be going into it with just 9 gigs under my belt, making me, at best, a horse so dark that it actually absorbs light. Pretty much everybody else will have a lot more experience than this I feel, but I can only really do my best, and it’s all good experience. I’ve been trying to work out what I’m actually going to say tomorrow for a while, but every time I think I’ve got it, I decide I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s not that it’s rubbish necessarily, but I don’t like to think things through too much, or else you’re just going through a script in your head. I think I’d like for it to be a bit more chaotic and improvised really. I think that’s my style, rubbish. Rubbish is my style. I’m Oscar the Grouch. Briefly talking of Sesame Street, has anybody ever done a better production of Gone With The Wind than Cookie Monster? Unbelievable it was. Those cookies went everywhere. My heart went out to him.

I must say, I’m actually a bit nervous about the gig tomorrow, and I don’t know why. I say I’m nervous, I felt a bit anxious when I got up, but that seems to have passed ever since I just put working on it to one side for a bit. For some reason though, apart from my first gig, I’ve never really been that worried about doing stand-up, and I don’t know why. It’s just fun. I have to say though, it’s absolutely nowhere near as easy as some people make it look. I think some people assume that it’s nothing, you just stand there and talk, what’s hard about that? To be honest, I myself was probably one of those people, as before I started out I was guilty of thinking it would be easy, but it really is anything but, it seems to require a lot of work. There’s a hell of a difference between being funny with friends and being funny on stage. It is brilliant though when it goes well.

Anyway, I’m going to go and amble about for a bit, maybe have a snack, finish this application and then sit around and write some ideas for tomorrow. They’ve really been very strange so far, but they’re worth testing at least. Anyway, bye!